When Reality TV Chickens Come Home to Roost... (The Porsha/Kenya Fight)

Over the past few days, everyone has been up in arms about the recent cat fight between Porsha Williams and Kenya Moore.  Two beautiful women.  Grown women.  Cast members (I refuse to call them stars) on the popular reality TV show Real Housewives of Atlanta.  Well, technically it wasn't really a fight.  One woman physically assaulted the other one because she (and other cast members) felt like she was being provoked.

*sigh* 

Let me just say this... I don't condone or support violence.  AT ALL.  And I will never come to someone's defense who physically attacks another person if it isn't self-defense. I totally understand feeling provoked though. I get it. I've been there - many times.  But I watched the reunion show and my question is this: Weren't they all being provoked??? 

Those beautiful women sat there in their designer gowns, flawless makeup and spewed out demeaning comments at one another all night.  They called each other slut...hoe....b*tch...repeatedly. Talk about being provoked!  I personally know some women who will get it poppin' it you call them ANY of those names.  Sure, one of the cast members had some props with her antics, which was annoying, inappropriate, and childish.  But I blame Bravo TV for allowing that.  They write the checks and they make the rules. #fact

I blame both women also. You can't bully someone with verbal abuse, props and/or accusations and get physical when you (Porsha) feel provoked.  It doesn't work that way.  If it did, we'd all have arrest records with multiple charges of battery. You also can't add fuel to the fire (Kenya) and then act surprised when it blows all the way up!

I don't watch Real Housewives of Atlanta regularly. God bless you if you do.  But from what I've seen, most of these ladies' conflict could be avoided if they would do one simple thing: Grow up.  

Kermit & Miss Piggy Are Finally Getting Married (Would You Wait 40 Years?)

Hold up.  Wait.  Stop the press.  It just got real.... 

The adorable, sweet, soft-spoken Kermit the Frog and the one & only, the O.D. (Original Diva), the fearless and always fabulous Miss Piggy are FINALLY getting married! 

After a 40-year courtship, Miss Piggy has apparently snagged her longtime boo.  Word on the street is their wedding will take place in the new movie, "Muppets Most Wanted."  I haven't seen the movie yet, so I can't confirm it.  The gossip folks say Miss Piggy reached out to Vivienne Westwood recently and asked the designer to create a wedding gown for her.  Hmmm.... Sounds like somebody's walking down the aisle to me!

Listen.  If it IS true, I'll be the first to congratulate them.  Because duh, I love love!   

But, if I can be honest for a sec....  *sips tea*  I love Miss Piggy and all, but I don't know if I would have waited 40 years to marry the love of my life.  I mean, the first thought that comes to my mind is,'What took so damn long?'  But hey, I'm a Virgo and I'm impatient, so there's that.  

I understand people wanting to make sure they're ready for marriage.  But, 40 years?  Geez.  

In reality, there's no blueprint that outlines the appropriate time to date someone before you become engaged and then enter into a marriage.  There's no right or wrong answer.  It's a personal decision based on a lot of factors.  I get it.

Miss Piggy and Kermit's love clearly has no expiration date.  But, let's be real.  They're muppets.  They could have waited another 20 years and no big deal!    

But, would you wait 40 years for love?  Would you wait 3 months? Two years?  Indefinitely?  

Love is amazing, weird and beautiful.  It's one hell of a drug.  And yes, it will make you do some crazy things.  #neversaynever

Say No to Yes People.....

You can totally tell when a celebrity has a team of "yes" people working for/with them.  I'm not calling anybody out, but you've seen these celebs go bat crazy in media interviews, right?  You've watched their performances at awards shows and thought..."What the !$@% was that?!"  And you've raised an eyebrow at some of their questionable career choices.  

It's natural to want people around you who are supportive and positive.  I get that.  Trust me, I get it!  However--and this is a big however, if your squad consists of a bunch of "yes" people, be careful.  "Yes" people will try to convince you that average is good enough. They'll have you believing that mediocrity is the norm.  They're uncomfortable with telling you the truth.  "Yes" people will have you out here looking...foolish. 

Having supportive and positive folks in your circle is a must!  Make sure you have genuine people who have your best interest at heart also.  People who will tell you the brutal, honest truth when everyone else is stroking your ego.  People who aren't afraid to tell you flat out, "Dude, you're f***king up."  People who will look you square in your eyes and say, "I disagree with you and here's why...."

I recently finished a major project and shared it with a close friend/mentor for feedback. This friend is wickedly talented and very successful.  I respect his opinion and I know he cares about me.  After reviewing my work, he gave it a 7.5 out of 10.  Ugh!  My heart sank.  It was tough to hear, but you know what?  He was right.  

I carefully reviewed his feedback, examined my work and made some adjustments.  And now?  My project is much better and scheduled to launch this summer (Yes!).   

Anywho...the moral of the story is this: Be cautious of folks who only tell you what you want to hear ("Yes" people).  Be open to constructive criticism.  Be 'OK' with being wrong sometimes and make changes if necessary.  And always surround yourself with people who will push you to be your best.  

Olivia Pope Quotes That Will Make You Smile, Blush & Giggle

Scandal premieres tonight and like millions of other viewers, I'll be sitting at home at 10:00 pm (EST) glued to ABC.  I'll have my favorite glass of Riesling, and my phone will be close by for hilarious text commentary with friends during the commercial breaks.  Great times, man.  Great times. :)

What can I say, I love Scandal!  And I love the character, Olivia Pope.  Key word: character.  I know she's not real, but Shonda Rhimes and Kerry Washington have given her life.  Olivia is a smart, scandalous, unethical woman who is impeccably dressed with stilettos on deck with every outfit.  She's known for a lot of things (LOTS), especially her unforgettable quotes:   

"I don't want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love."

"I'm going to need you to refrain from calling me a whore...at least not in front of my face."

"I'm many things, stupid is not one of them."

"Going up against the white house is the biggest thing we've ever done. It will be hard. It will be mean. It will be personal." 

"Normal is overrated."

"I always have cards left to play." 

"Give me your tie.  Take it off.  Off, off, off, off." 

"It's handled."

#Scandal

Hispanic Heritage Month - Women Who Rock

Hispanic Heritage Month kicked off on September 15th! It's a great time for us to celebrate the unique contributions, culture and talents of Hispanic Americans throughout this country. 

I'm a BIG supporter of women.  So, to commemorate Hispanic Heritage Month, I'm celebrating beautiful, smart, talented Hispanic women I love and admire: 

Antonia Novella - First Hispanic American to be named surgeon general of the United States. She was born in Puerto Rico and appointed Surgeon General by president George Bush. She was also the first woman ever to hold the position. #GirlPower

Rita Moreno - The first Hispanic American (and the second person ever) to have won an Oscar, a Grammy, a Tony, and an Emmy.  "Maria" from Westside Story...  #dope

Ellen Ochoa - First female Hispanic astronaut.  Her first of four shuttle missions was in 1991.

Celia Cruz - Bolstering a 40-year singing career, she recorded 23 gold records, appeared in several movies, earned a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, and was awarded the American National Media of the Arts by the National Endowment of the Arts. (One of my favorite artists ever!)

Mary Joe Fernandez - Won two grand slam tennis titles for doubles & two Olympic gold medals.

Sonia Sotomayor - First Hispanic U.S. Supreme Court justice.

Rita Hayworth - She was born Margarita Carmen Cansino from Spanish parents, but was made to change her name and hair color in order to get work in Hollywood.  She made a total of 61 films and appeared on the cover of "Life" magazine six times.

Singer, Celia Cruz

Since 1968, the U.S. has honored the important role of Americans whose ancestors hailed from Spain, Mexico and the Spanish-speaking nations of Central America, South America and the Caribbean.  September 15th was chosen as the first day of the celebration because it's the anniversary of independence for Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, and El Salvador.  (Mexico celebrates their independence on September 16th and Chile on September 18th.)  

 

Gloria Steinem Didn't Fight For This....

*sigh*  "Tina" from Florida, wants you to know: 

No caption needed.

Disclaimer:  The posting of this picture does not, in any way support "Tina" and her efforts.  *sigh again*

Women's History Month: Carol Burnett

I always get a side-eye from people when I tell them that Carol Burnett is one of my favorite women in the entertainment business.  But it's so true. I loooove me some Carol Burnett. 

I didn't laugh a lot as a kid.  There was crazy drama in my life and LOL's and giggles were not as common as they should have been.  BUT, when the "Carol Burnett Show" came on TV, I literally could not stop laughing for 60 minutes.  I'd smile so hard that my jaws would turn red and puffy. Tears in my eyes, loss of oxygen intake....all that!  I mean, the characters she played were classics!  Who could forget Mrs. Wiggins (the *clears throat* secretary), Starlet O'Hara (Gone With The Wind) and the long-suffering, emotional housewife Eunice Higgins, my personal favorite.  Great times.

Years ago, I had a dream about Carol Burnett.  I was at the grocery store, in the '10 Items or Less' line and looked to my left.  And there she was.  I was speechless at first.  Nervous.  Then....I went right up to her, introduced myself and told her how much I loved her and what she'd meant to me growing up.

"Aren't you sweet," she said.  We talked for about 10 minutes.  She listened to me blabber on and on about her work.  She told me about her upbringing, encouraged me to be fearless and then...she hugged me, tugged on her ear and waved good-bye.  I melted.  

The "Carol Burnett Show" ran for 11 years on CBS and won 25 Emmy Awards.  Amazing!  But get this - the network initially didn't want her to do a variety show.  They believed the variety format could only be successful with a male lead. Ha!  She showed them!  #girlpower

The entertainment world has had a five-decade love affair with Carol Burnett.  I've loved her since she made me smile as a kid.  Today's generation got a taste of Ms. Burnett when she showed up on popular shows like Desperate Housewives, Glee and Law and Order.  She'll be 80 years old next month and she's still going strong. 

Here's a clip of Carol Burnett as Eunice.  Funny, smart and fearless.  Doesn't get any better than this...

Pic Of The Day: She's How Old?!?!?!

I kid you not, this woman was born in 1937.  I'm not so great with math, but that means she's *counting on my fingers*  75 years old!  Let me repeat that, so it can marinate and you can really understand what I just said.  She. Is. 75!  Her name is Ernestine Shepherd and she's the world's oldest competitive female bodybuilder.

And get this: She started working out at the tender age of 56.  I'm SO @&h#(&?+d&rf!dg?#er inspired!!! 

Girls Run The World & Rock The Vote!

DISCLAIMER -  I was born and raised in Florida.  Besides the weather, the beaches and Disney World, there's something else we're known for.  Politics.  It's deep rooted in the culture down there.  No matter your age, race, economic status, church affiliation...whatever!  If you reside in the Sunshine State, you're about that political life.  (And not just during a Presidential election season.)
                                       
I'm not an emotional person.  I don't anger easily.  I don't have a combative spirit.  And I'm very, very careful about picking my battles.  Which brings me to my next point...

I checked my Facebook page a few days ago.  It was late at night, but people were still online posting...and venting. Pretty common, right?  Well, something, or should I say someone caught my eye.  I'll call her "Kelly."  Kelly was frustrated and upset about the number of political posts on her timeline.  She was mad and totally "OVER IT." (Yep, she posted it in all caps).  Kelly wanted Facebook to return to that wonderful, blissful utopia that features snapshots of food, obnoxious quotes and sappy relationship updates.  Ahhhh...Facebook.  Gotta love it. :)

Any-who.  I'm always surprised to hear a person say they're not "into" politics.  Completely blown away and disappointed when I hear a woman say it.  The conversation usually goes something like this:

Friend:  I don't like politics.  I don't get it.  I don't follow it.  

Me: * blank stare *

Friend: I hate politics....blah, blah, blah.

Me:  Girl, what?  Do you know that these politicians (mostly men) are out here making decisions about our reproductive rights?  Passing laws about our health care choices...  Hellllloooo - our issues are at stake!

Listen.  Beyonce says "Girls Run The World."  And I believe it.  As women, we've made some amazing strides over the last 20 years, but we have a long way to go.  And to get there, we have to be engaged in the political process.  We shouldn't be comfortable sitting on the sidelines.  We can't afford to "get over it."  We have to get into it.  

There's no question about it, this Presidential election will be a close race.  Will female voters be a key factor? Absolutely.  Our impact is critical and yes, we will play a pivotal role on November 6th.  

To women like Donna Brazile and Maria Shriver....and me, politics isn't some dry, boring, cold place reserved for older men in nice suits.  It's the freeway to empowerment.  It's a place where our thoughts and ideas can help change lives.   
So, the next time you hear a woman diss politics, talk to her about the candidates and the issues.  Help her understand.  And politely remind her of all the women and men who made sacrifices, so that we--women could have a seat at the table.  And then grab a microphone, turn up the video below and...Rock. Out. :)

  

Marilyn Was a Poet And You Didn't Even Know It!

She's my all-time favorite muse.  I think about her a lot when I'm writing.  Visit my home and you'll see scandalous pictures of her sprinkled here & there.  It’s been 50 years since her death.  Fifty years!  And people are still intrigued with....her.

A lot of women believe that being pretty and passive is enough to get you what you want.  Not Marilyn (She & I are on a first name basis.) :-)  She was Hollywood's ulitimate sex symbol, goddess, icon, misunderstood diva, comic, genius and < insert whatever you choose to call her here >.  But, listen. *peers over sunglasses*  There was so much more to her than that.

Did you know that......

• She wasn't a dumb blonde.  She was a very savvy business woman.
• Her favorite colors were beige, black, white and red.

• She owned her own production company, Marilyn Monroe Productions.
• She washed her face 15 times a day, due to a fear of blemishes.

• She wrote poetry, but would never show it to anyone. (Yes, poetry)
• She wore a dress size of 14. (I almost fainted when I heard about this!)

• One of her favorite novels was the notoriously complicated Ulysses by James Joyce. (She read it aloud to herself because she loved the sound of it.)
• Her first studio name was *drum roll*….Carole Lind.  (Blah.  I like Marilyn way better.)

• Her favorite singers were Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra.
• She had a pet horse named….Ebony.  (Awwww….sweet!)

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.  I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times, hard to handle.  But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."   -Marilyn Monroe

My Pic of The Day: THIS is Swag!

Listen.  If this isn't inspiration, I don't know what is!  My momma calls this lady, the "Queen" and I concur.  Chaka Khan is looking amaaaaazing these days, isn't she?!  She's 60 lbs lighter, 59 years old young and on the "10 Hot-o-Meter" scale, she's a 12!  




Chaka Khan



The Virgo Woman...What You Need to Know

There's something to be said about astrology. Is it always true?  I don't think so.  But, it does give us a baseline to understand each other a little better. 

It's no secret, I'm a Virgo.  Hmmmm....what does THAT mean?  It means a lot actually.  And If you're so lucky to have a Virgo woman in your life (wink), there's some basic things I think you should know:

We're perfectionists.  It's true, we pursue perfection in everything we do.  That's a good and bad thing. It can be exhausting and causes us to be a little critical at times. Give us a minute...we're working on this one.  

We're a woman for all seasons.  We can change our mindset to adjust to even the most difficult situations of life. A strong woman. A versatile woman.

We're not as reserved as we appear to be.  A lot of people think Virgo women are shy *I shrug*, but the truth is, if you take a sec to get to know us, you'll see that we're quite entertaining...and charming. :)

We find humor in almost everything.  Our sense of humor is sharp, quick and smart.    

We are completely devoted and loyal.  Ever heard of a ride-or-die chick?  That's us!    

We're independent and free thinking.  Intellectual connections are very, very important to us. 

We're genuine.  Our motives are honest.  Never malicious.  Highly ethical and idealistic.

Singer, Pink = Virgo Woman

Famous Virgo Women:

Beyonce

Amy Winehouse
Raquel Welch

Nicole Richie

Lola Falana

Cameron Diaz

Jada Pinkett Smith
Shania Twain

Mother Theresa

Sanaa Lathan

LeAnn Rhimes

Anika Noni Rose

Sophia Loren

Selma Hayek

Joan Jett

Jennifer Hudson
Brooke Burke

Lauren Bacall

Cass Elliott

Gloria Estefan

Awkward Conversation of the Week.....

Me: I'm about to get real serious about my workouts.  Like-for real, for real.  Summer's coming!

Skinny Friend: Me too, girl.  

Me: What do you mean? You're like a size 6 or something, right?  

Skinny Friend: Please!  I wish.  I'm a size 8.  Total pig.  Team Chunk.  What size are you?   

Me: *sips wine....blank stare* 


*Side Note: I'm larger than a size 8 and I'm very sensitive about my weight.

Just Say No (Confessions of a Former People Pleaser)

Hi! My name is Stephanie and I’m a former people pleaser. In my case, being a people pleaser didn’t just happen overnight.  I was born that way…it’s how I came into the world.  It’s how God made me.  And for a really long time (too long actually), I thought it was just “the way I am.”

I’m the oldest of five, so helping others and doing for others is second nature to me. I’ve always been the easy-going type (easy to get along with and positive), and I genuinely want everyone around me to be happy and content.  Classic traits of a people pleaser!  *Sidenote: Believe it or not, most people who have the “disease to please” are women.  Think about it…

I thought…saying no to someone made me less empathetic, less caring (less of a woman, maybe?) and slightly self-absorbed.  For years, I let “friends” drift in and out of my life as they pleased.  Only reconnecting with me when they wanted or needed something… I have to shake my head sometimes when I think about the woman I use to be.  I even laugh about it sometimes because at the end of the day, being a people pleaser is 100% preventable.  And I take full responsibility for not getting off the yes treadmill sooner.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with pleasing people.  For me, helping someone or making someone smile unexpectedly or just being a positive influence in someone’s life is priceless. The problem arises when the need to please others consistently trump our own needs and wants. 

The light bulb finally came on for me. I had to learn to say no (politely, of course). It’s what I call the ‘yes’ diet. It’s not about stopping the pleasing altogether, it’s about being more aware and in tune with myself and my feelings.  It’s about doing more of what I want to do and less of what others think I should do.

It takes a lot of courage to say no sometimes.  It’s not always the easiest thing.  It can be uncomfortable, but it’s something I know I have to do.  It's not about being insensitive, selfish or unkind. Not at all!  For me it's pretty simple: Each "No" is a small step towards becoming a better "Me".  And I'm cool with that..... 

  

Smart Chicks Wear Stilettos!

A male friend recently said to me: Chicks who wear red lipstick and stilettos look good, but usually have little substance. Huh?  Now, I proudly confess…I’m a girly girl (sticks out chest).  I love to shop, wear stilettos, buy make-up, bake cookies and anything else that screams GIRL! And yes, I love the color pink! I thank LJC (Lord Jesus Christ) daily for making me a woman.  *Side Note: He really outdid himself when he made us women. Yes He did.*  But that’s just one side of me.  And like most women, I have many sides. 

Like any other red-blooded American girl, I love a good shoe sale at Nordstrom’s. But I get equally excited about a town hall meeting with my Congressman; even more hyped about teaching a class full of 6^th graders on Junior Achievement day.  I love pedicures, but on any given Saturday, you’ll find me at my neighborhood Barnes & Noble with a good book and an even better caramel macchiato.  Get the picture?  

So guys, don’t let the stilettos and red (or pink) lipstick fool you!  Take a sec to get to know a woman.  Don’t judge a book by its cover. Take time to learn what’s inside. You just might be surprised by what you find.                                               

                          ** Famous Smart Chicks Who Rock Stilettos **

Madonna, Pop Culture Icon
Kimora Lee Simmons, Businesswoman, Philanthropist, Top Model, etc.
Mellody Hobson, President of Ariel Invesments, LLC
Angelina Jolie, Philanthropist, Actress
Desiree Rogers, CEO of Johnson Publishing
Candace Bushnell, Best-selling Author (Sex and the City, etc.)
Dr. Lisa Masterson, Women’s Healthcare Pioneer (featured on The Doctors)
Judge Glenda Hatchett, TV Personality, Author, Philanthropist
Sarah Jessica Parker, Hollywood Power-Player

Desiree Rogers, CEO of Johnson Publishing

Pretty Little Girls

If you looked up “girly-girl” in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of me sitting there in a fabulous pink dress, with my legs neatly crossed, face beat, lips shining (Lip gloss is my favorite!), drinking some afternoon tea, and reading my most recent copy of Cosmopolitan magazine.

I really do love all of that stuff!  So it was a surprise to some people (those who don’t really know me), that I was bothered by Walmart’s recent announcement about their new line of beauty products.  Beauty products – no big deal right?  Did I mention this line is tailored for girls between the ages of 8 and 12?  It’s being branded as an “anti-aging” line designed for “young skin” and it will feature blush, mascara, lipstick and face shimmer. 

Lipstick and blush for 8 year-olds?  Seriously??? 

I’m not mad at Walmart for deciding to run this campaign. They’re a business, and businesses are in the business of making money. Point blank.  And the beauty industry is BIG MONEY.  What frustrates me is the message that this is sending to young girls.  To me, it reinforces an unhealthy focus on exterior, superficial, physical beauty.   

The vanity obsession is everywhere.  Turn on the television on any given day and you’ll see young women who are consumed with their appearance. Part of it is just being insecure (We’ve all been there.)  And companies know that. That’s why they spend millions on marketing campaigns that focus on the beauty benefits of their product.  Get it?   

Yes, I enjoy wearing make-up, but I’m a woman who’s comfortable and confident in her own skin (with or without lip gloss). Young girls should be encouraged to be smart, outspoken, compassionate and fearless. And they should be reminded that real beauty doesn’t come from the perfect shade of face powder.  It comes from within and is always accompanied with great humility.    

Let's leave the lipstick and blush on the shelf where it belongs.