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Hold up. Wait. Stop the press. It just got real....
The adorable, sweet, soft-spoken Kermit the Frog and the one & only, the O.D. (Original Diva), the fearless and always fabulous Miss Piggy are FINALLY getting married!
After a 40-year courtship, Miss Piggy has apparently snagged her longtime boo. Word on the street is their wedding will take place in the new movie, "Muppets Most Wanted." I haven't seen the movie yet, so I can't confirm it. The gossip folks say Miss Piggy reached out to Vivienne Westwood recently and asked the designer to create a wedding gown for her. Hmmm.... Sounds like somebody's walking down the aisle to me!
Listen. If it IS true, I'll be the first to congratulate them. Because duh, I love love!
But, if I can be honest for a sec.... *sips tea* I love Miss Piggy and all, but I don't know if I would have waited 40 years to marry the love of my life. I mean, the first thought that comes to my mind is,'What took so damn long?' But hey, I'm a Virgo and I'm impatient, so there's that.
I understand people wanting to make sure they're ready for marriage. But, 40 years? Geez.
In reality, there's no blueprint that outlines the appropriate time to date someone before you become engaged and then enter into a marriage. There's no right or wrong answer. It's a personal decision based on a lot of factors. I get it.
Miss Piggy and Kermit's love clearly has no expiration date. But, let's be real. They're muppets. They could have waited another 20 years and no big deal!
But, would you wait 40 years for love? Would you wait 3 months? Two years? Indefinitely?
Love is amazing, weird and beautiful. It's one hell of a drug. And yes, it will make you do some crazy things. #neversaynever
Printing this on 5,000 t-shirts:
The wink at the end though.... #priceless
So yeah...I feel like a failure in life. My Christmas cards are NOTHING like this. *kicks rocks* :-)
- Triple check his list to make sure everyone received their gifts.
- Check Instagram to see all of the beautiful #MerryChristmas pictures.
- Get a massage. After visiting 842 million homes and traveling 221 million miles to reach each kid, "exhausted" is an understatement.
- Date night with the Mrs. He's been working long hours and she's been patient. It's "her" time now.
- Hit the gym. A diet that consists mostly of milk and cookies can wreak havoc on a waistline.
- Stop by the barber shop. Make sure his beard is still tight.
- Sign and distribute elf bonus checks. They're the forgotten heroes in all of this.
- Take the sleigh in for a tune-up.
- Call his publicist - Officially decline FOX News' invite to come on and talk about fictional characters and their racial backgrounds.
- Download the new Beyonce album. #fan
This is totally something I would do. I'd probably also include a PowerPoint presentation with the letter to further explain my position. LOL! #Virgo
Virgo season is HERE! *dances for 5 seconds* If you're blessed enough to have a Virgo in your life, you are one lucky mojito.
Listen. Virgos are special. And we know it. Not in an arrogant kinda way. Nooooo! Virgos are the least arrogant of all of the zodiac signs. Matter of fact, we tend to be genuinely modest, and would rather the attention be on others than ourselves.
Don't get me wrong, we have our ways. Boy, do we ever! If you're in a relationship with a Virgo, friends with a Virgo or you casually interact with a Virgo, the conversation will probably go like this:
COMMENT: VIRGO RESPONSE:
"You're just so hard to read." * blank stare *
"So, everything in your closet is in sections, * smiles proudly *
labeled AND color coordinated?"
"You're really shy." * sinister laugh * (If only they knew)
"Hey, Stranger." * sigh *
"Why didn't you respond to my text message." * sighs, again *
"You're an introvert." * shrugs *
"Sometimes....well, you act like you don't care." "I care. I really do." * side eye *
"How many times are you gonna review that?" * sips smoothie*
I told you...Virgos are special. Don't judge us. :-)
