You Wanna Date My Daughter? Fill Out This Application First

Listen.  I understand the special bond between Dads and their baby girls.  I know it's real.  I know that no boy/man that she brings home will ever be good enough for his sweet dumplin', precious lambchop, angel-face, puddin' pop.  And I know that her Daddy is the first man she'll ever love.  Very important relationship.  I get it.  

But, has it gotten so bad out here that Dads are resorting to this?!  An "Application For Permission To Date My Daughter."  Whoa.   

I love the "Explain what 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' means to you" section.  Sweet pre-teen Jesus.  What is this world coming to?  *giggle*

Tionna Smalls Keeps It Real with New Book: Men Love Abuse

Relationship advisor, entrepreneur, author and star of VH1's reality series What Chilli Wants, Tionna Smalls says ladies, yes it's true...Guys love mean girls:

Relationship experts seem to be popping up everywhere, but you’ve been doing this a long time.  How did you get into the relationship business?  What motivates you to do this?
I thought I knew it all when I broke up with my first boyfriend, then I started dating and I was like Oh My God, these dudes are off the chain.  So I started writing about my dating experience and wrote the first independent version of the book, "Girl Get Your Mind Right!" Once I did this, I received a job from Gawker (a media website) and the rest was history.  I don't really consider myself an expert, but I can battle with the best...I am very obsessed with male and female interaction and also decided to go back to school to become a therapist for women; helping them with love, self love and self-esteem, etc.  I was born to do this.

So, if I want to be a bi*ch and get hitched, outside of picking up a copy of “Men Love Abuse,” what should I do first?
You have to first ask yourself, are you too nice? If you feel you are, that is the first step...Knowing is beautiful. After that, you just start spending some time with yourself, learning what you like and what you don't like and once you know that, you just don't play and do your thang.  If you become selfish and just think about you, you will be OK because then you won't be afraid to lose.

Women are taught to be nice, polite and cordial.  Should we just abandon that theory altogether? 
Yessssssssss.  We should only be nice, polite and cordial occasionally.  LOL.  No, we should always be polite and cordial, but never be too nice.

True or False: Guys love mean girls.
They sure do. The more you don't give a F***, the more they want to be with you.  It is so true.

Is there such a thing as too much abuse?

Yes. Some women could be too b*tchy or too demanding. You need to know how to do it without being too ABUSIVE, because then you are going to turn the man off.  You just want to give enough abuse to get your point across. Overall, you just can't play with a man.

It sounds like ‘abuse’ will get a man, but will it keep him?

Abuse will definitely get them and you lighten up with the abuse to keep him, but no matter how long you had your man, you better always stay strong with your convictions and not allow a dude to do whatever to you.  You can't be afraid to check him even if you are in a long term relationship, but this ideology is mostly for women who are trying to snag 'em and bag 'em.

What three things do you want women to take away from “Men Love Abuse?”
The number one thing is to not be too nice under any circumstances, to be strong with these dudes no matter how much you like him, and to never sweat a guy.  We are queens, they are supposed to sweat us.

In your opinion, what’s the biggest dating mistake women/men make?
They get too open off of dudes, they give too much and they do too much.  They love too fast, fall too hard. They get rid of their friends and hobbies once they meet a man.  And most of all, they stop talking to their other Boos once they meet one guy they like. Take the time out to date! 

What’s the best love/relationship advice you’ve ever received?
All my great advice about love and relationships came from my father.  He says a lot of little gems, but these two stuck to me.  He said the problem with women is they give too much to a dude and they don't have to.  That was some deep 'ish' and the second advice was "Don't come home with a wet a** and some Chinese food."  Those two quotes made me the woman I am today.  I am not playing.

Men Love Abuse will be released on January 27, 2012.  The book is currently available on Kindle and Nook.

Follow Tionna Smalls on Twitter: Twitter.com/TionnaSmalls 

Top 10 First Date Tips & Turn-Off's (For Ladies)

This list is comprised from the many conversations, debates and arguments I've had with my male BFF's, co-workers, ex's, associates and strangers.  *exhale*  Here we go....
                                      *** Disclaimer: I'm just the messenger. ***  

1. Ladies, remember this is just a first date. Talking about marriage & babies will surely make him uneasy. FYI: Rarely do first dates go so well that men consider a marriage proposal. That happens mostly in Hollywood movies.
   
   
2. Don't forget to mention you have kids (No, I'm not kidding). Very misleading...
   
   
3. Enjoy the date. Let your guard down. Don't sweat the small stuff. Have fun!
   
   
4. Refrain from talking about your ex's if you can. Talking about them sends a message that you have baggage & you haven't really moved on.
   
   
5. Look your best.  Sounds like a no-brainer, but gorgeous hair, lipgloss and a nice outfit will get his attention and go a long way.
   
   
6. After the date, do not immediately 'friend' him on Facebook or follow him (publicly) on Twitter.  Don't do it.
    
   
7. Turn down the Diva. Excessive mentions of yourself, your shopping habits, your collection of shoes (red bottoms), connections, etc. will not make you a prime candidate for date #2.
   
   
8. Don't overdo it in the scent department.  Take it easy on the perfume. 
   
   
9. A vocabulary that consists of mostly profanity gets annoying real fast. Be a lady...
   
   
10. Afterwards, show some interest.  If you're pretty sure he's interested (like 90% sure), it's OK to give him a call. Remember....you snooze, you lose:)

Top 10 First Date Tips & Turn-Off's (For Guys)

Let's jump right into this, shall we?

1. Fellas, don't treat the date like it's an interview.  We know you want to get to know us, but just chill, relax and let the conversation.....flow.
     
2. For the love of God, please don't talk about yourself for three hours!  Not only is it rude, it defeats the whole purpose of going out on a date.  There should be an equal distribution of dialogue.
   
   
3. So, you're a former "ladies man?"  Cool.  No need to tell us about alllllll of your former female conquests... Tacky, immature and TMDI (Too Much Damn Information!)
   
   
4. Be a gentleman. Yes, women are independent. Yes, we run the world (Thank you Beyonce).  But, we love chivalry.  We really do...
   
   
5. Do a hygiene check before you leave the house.  *Note: Make sure you check the inside of your ears and other secret places.  Women notice everything!
   
   
6. Don't compliment your date too much.  One or two is fine, but if you tell her she's beautiful every 5 minutes, she'll think you have "stalker" tendencies.
   
   
7. Take it easy on the alcohol. Drunk on the first date?  Probably won't get you a second date.  Just sayin'...
    
8. Do not, under any circumstances say anything bad about Michelle Obama.  She is our fearless leader.  Just nod and agree.
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9. Be yourself.  There's nothing worse than listening to lies, fabrication & exaggeration when you know the truth...
   
   
10. Just say NO to technology!  Take a break from your cell phone, text messaging, tweets and Facebook status updates.  Pay attention to your date.  

Smart Chicks Wear Stilettos!

A male friend recently said to me: Chicks who wear red lipstick and stilettos look good, but usually have little substance. Huh?  Now, I proudly confess…I’m a girly girl (sticks out chest).  I love to shop, wear stilettos, buy make-up, bake cookies and anything else that screams GIRL! And yes, I love the color pink! I thank LJC (Lord Jesus Christ) daily for making me a woman.  *Side Note: He really outdid himself when he made us women. Yes He did.*  But that’s just one side of me.  And like most women, I have many sides. 

Like any other red-blooded American girl, I love a good shoe sale at Nordstrom’s. But I get equally excited about a town hall meeting with my Congressman; even more hyped about teaching a class full of 6^th graders on Junior Achievement day.  I love pedicures, but on any given Saturday, you’ll find me at my neighborhood Barnes & Noble with a good book and an even better caramel macchiato.  Get the picture?  

So guys, don’t let the stilettos and red (or pink) lipstick fool you!  Take a sec to get to know a woman.  Don’t judge a book by its cover. Take time to learn what’s inside. You just might be surprised by what you find.                                               

                          ** Famous Smart Chicks Who Rock Stilettos **

Madonna, Pop Culture Icon
Kimora Lee Simmons, Businesswoman, Philanthropist, Top Model, etc.
Mellody Hobson, President of Ariel Invesments, LLC
Angelina Jolie, Philanthropist, Actress
Desiree Rogers, CEO of Johnson Publishing
Candace Bushnell, Best-selling Author (Sex and the City, etc.)
Dr. Lisa Masterson, Women’s Healthcare Pioneer (featured on The Doctors)
Judge Glenda Hatchett, TV Personality, Author, Philanthropist
Sarah Jessica Parker, Hollywood Power-Player

Desiree Rogers, CEO of Johnson Publishing